“certain things you don’t actually think about until you actually really need them like toilet paper.” -Ronnie Hicks
This is a quote my father told me when I moved back home for the first time since I left home two years ago. We all forget something at one point or another. Whether it be the most minute things or the biggest objects in our lives, some things in our life we just do not think about until we need them. For my dad that is the toilet paper but for me it was my happiness.
I recently stopped and realized that I am a junior in college meaning that in less than a year I am expected to be walking across a stage in my cap and gown shaking hands of dean’s and collegiate professors as I graduate from my university receiving my bachelor’s degree. I am now looking around and thinking that I may be ‘that scared senior’, scrambling for a job because I have not done enough to prepare myself professionally.
I have done a lot with my time during these undergraduate years and have had a laundry list of successes along with some minor setbacks, but through all of that work and determination I am now looking around and asking myself the million dollar question, am I happy? Now of course from the outside looking in I am not doing too bad at all, but honestly after many days and weeks of thinking I am not happy with who I have become because I forgot what matters most, me.
I forgot the toilet paper and am sitting waiting for someone to rescue me from the stall, but instead of waiting for someone to save me I am making a way to save myself. I took on more than I can chew with all of my responsibilities and I am producing less quality work than I would like to see from myself. I have a great resume to show for all of this work but put these awards, leadership positions, and jobs before what is most important my happiness and in connection my health. Note to self; never forget that you are your harshest critic and that you are deserving of saying no, having your best interest at heart, taking time to take care of yourself, and put yourself first.
Thank you for reading.
Miles S. Hicks
PS. From Dad
Me: Dad I gonna live at home now…
Daddy: Cool, can you take your sister to school tomorrow?